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100 Funny Jokes / Sayings
 Submitted By: james03 on 12/4/2006
1) Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs.... more
Tags: funny jokes sayings top 100
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Birthday Gone Wrong Joke
 Submitted By: clive on 5/3/2007
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday", and possibly have a present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good mor... more
Tags: birthday humor joke jokes secretary
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Blonde in a Boat
Submitted By: clive on 5/7/2007
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.
The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What d... more
Tags: blonde joke humor joke jokes
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Brunette Meets Genie Joke
Submitted By: clive on 5/7/2007
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as... more
Tags: blonde joke brunette joke humor joke jokes
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Lawyer Jokes
Submitted By: agp on 8/10/2007
Here are a bunch of lawyer jokes for your ammusement.
A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.The d... more
Tags: jokes lawyer lawyer jokes
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The Maid
 Submitted By: clive on 5/4/2007
A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, ''Who is this?''
''This is the maid,'' answers the woman.
''We don't have a maid,'' says the man.
The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.''
The ... more
Tags: funny humor joke jokes maid murder twisted
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NASA Intellegence Joke
Submitted By: agp on 8/7/2007
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down... more
Tags: funny humor joke jokes nasa pen
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Pharmacists Joke
Submitted By: clive on 5/5/2007
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never... more
Tags: humor joke jokes pharmacist
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Stranded Joke
Submitted By: clive on 5/3/2007
One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he
thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilit... more
Tags: golf humor joke jokes sexy
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Dieing Lawyer Joke
Submitted By: clive on 5/4/2007
A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist ... more
Tags: death humor joke jokes lawyer
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Copycat Joke
Submitted By: clive on 5/3/2007
A jock and a geek were applying for the same job.
The boss said, "Boys, you need to take a test before you can get this job."
So they took the test and the next day they came back to see who the boss chose. "Well," he said, "Both of you got the s... more
Tags: humor joke jokes
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Ugly Baby Joke
Submitted By: agp on 8/7/2007
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “Yo... more
Tags: baby funny humor joke jokes
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